You get it, right? (1977) The Alamo: (1936, 1960 & 2004) The Alamo . A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. Run it with me. Were walking down the hallway, and I see all these photos of the old correspondents that came before me. And my dad It was her first birthday in the US. Do tell. Stop blaming other people. Ill pay it. So one day he gets up in front of the entire class. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. What Homecoming King feels like is a memoir come to life. Youve got leverage. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Keema roti, me? I fell in love here. Were sitting on my living room table. We put that in our car. The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? I want to be Batman. Well, of course. I mean, dances are overrated. Weve all been there. Dont just, like, go into it. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. If you're unfamiliar with Minhaj, chances are you've seen him lately. Kids were losing their minds. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. Im livid. Are you fucking kidding me? Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. She got all these people working together. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? Have you heard of Seema? Life is tough and sometimes you dont know what youre doing. Im the cure for racism. Say it. A car almost hits me. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? Ill bike to your place, we dance it up, and if I die, I had a great run. You know? Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Forty-four-and-a-half presidents are white. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. I am Jon Stewart. He goes, I dont think we should do this. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? Out of college. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 Action / Comedy / Documentary. I remember being in the grocery store. Oh, you couldnt go to prom with a white girl? Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. Thank you. Youre like, Whats the difference? I became a comedian. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. Hey, um, long time no see. Is Hasan there? What you want, Alice? I was like, Im going to die a virgin. Im in Geometry with Hasan. In the photo hes like, You had better get all As. Like, lets be real. Its all about location. Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. All rights reserved. Its a bracket with everybodys name on it leading up to the big dance. Im about to close the door. I cant tell you how blue it is. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Its like 20 feet. I jump off the roof. Its not traditional standup comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show. But, but you have to write another original piece. I was like, No! Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. Thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. We should do this more often. Whoa! I know what happens when I talk about this. Lives in Manhattan. Duh, we knew that. Im going to sneak out. She gets in the car. Thank you. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. Mom walks through. I was like, Im a headliner. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. Alright? We run it a second time. I love you guys. Weve got customers. This isnt high school. But then she would go back to India. Dad, I promise you, God doesnt like bigotry. Thats my bike. Its Jon. Why are you hunting down people from your past like a psycho? And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. Its beautiful, the sun is setting, its one of those gorgeous evenings. There's. Dont do that. Come on! Do you know when br0wn kids get slapped? Its too much. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. Whats Hasan-bye? I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. This is a statue of an elephant. Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. In a relationship with I click it. I cant believe it. Sitting presidents have sat on that desk. This is really nice. Because of my sister. Were all going to prom? You're almost there! Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 I get to the door, open the door, then I hear, Hey, Hasan! Shes sitting outside. The bike goes left, I go right. Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. And Fox News is in New York. No! Im like, Why are we here? Required fields are marked *. You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. My life is definitive proof that once you go br0wn, youve got to lock that shit down. And Muslims, we dont eat pork. Im home. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. Thank you. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King She was like, Fuck that. Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. The starring, who is also the writer of the video, Hasan Minhaj grows up in an India American Muslim background. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. The surgery is that risky. This kid just won $30,000 cash. There you go, Uncle Sam. What do you like? Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. Look at his brother. Back in the day, we had to fire up the internet like goddamn cavemen. Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. Thank you for the opportunity. I tucked that turtle head back in my butt. So I actually have the audacity of equality. And I never saw her again. So, Hasan, be brave. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. I didnt know how to feel, until this. So I started doing comedy. Everyone sees it. Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. None of you guys are smiling. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. I was like, I made it! You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. You make me sound like a refugee baby. Thats true. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Im pissed. He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. Cheese! She rams her arm into the door, leans out and gives me a kiss. Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. Privacy Policy "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. Like changing the oil on your car. Ive got to drop the greatest status update. I run upstairs, open my laptop, fire up Facebook, and then I see this. Im about to pop a wheelie. I never thought you would want to talk to me ever again. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. [makes crushing sounds]. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. Roll call was a problem. And I dont know why I get to Kaiser and run upstairs. Second marriage, Tools, Clear History. The first time you experience racism? So Im looking at her, like, Dont say anything. Fuck them. Damn them. Muslims are like, No statues! Theyre in New York. I did keep my promise, though. Because she knew the rules. Were doing integrals. I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. Thank you. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. What is that like? Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. Just the two of us trying to make it in America. Her family owns a camera. My dad was like, A camera? So he runs to my grandfathers house and lays it on the line. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Never happened. This is the American dream. Isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the side? Are you fucking kidding? Just all traps. Is someone sitting there? By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. MCAT, DAT, youre going to the Caribbean, its a wrap. But for me, I was born here. No one is going to marry him. Theyre a clich. We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. Free Wi-Fi? I popped out here. "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . Its good people and bad people. Two years, three years, four years, six years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club. You guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on, and bring over this FOB. Hasan Minhaj: Every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. Its a big deal. I cant say anything. I got on Facebook, I got super cocky. Her house, my house. Goodnight. Boom. When you first fall in love, you get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue. You can hear me, right? Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, is the theatrical debut of humorist and "The Daily Show" correspondent Hasan Minhaj. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. Hes been slapped on camera. Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. Im like, Im in Honors Gov, I have it right here. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. It was like Inception. Be like this, dude. Boom! Father doesnt want us to go to prom. I pick it up, and its destroyed. Youre doing comedy now. Wheres Osama? Hey, 2631 Regatta Lane, thats where you live, right? I cant die. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! Just to see her one last time. And Im biking with my knees bowed out. And I look over her shoulder, and I see Jeff Burke putting a corsage on Bethanys wrist. Ill never do it again., He goes, No why dont you forgive Bethany? [speaking Hindi] He wanted to be the bigger person again. And I honestly dont know who is more right. Its difficult to get in this country. Im livid. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter You know Bills demeanor. She saw me doing this shit in the street. Raj is a good person and so am I. You ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee? In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. For four years, my wife and I couldn't get pregnant. It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. Crush our enemies.. Now blood is gushing down my arm, and Im pissed, Im fucking mad. As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. Incredible! She starts crying and runs out. And I didnt know what that meant. But there was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. This is fucked up. Im JGL. Its what every generation did before you. There were so many levels. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. Im so excited. Isnt there something bigger that unites all of us outside of race, color, creed, class? Duh! I want to be president. Duh! Everybodys afraid of everybody. My mom and my sisters are crying. Why do you do that? And she was like, I am so sorry. So I tell him the prom story. We decide to move in together. Hey, you sand n*gger, wheres Osama?. Good night. I wasnt very good. You have to be brave, his father urged. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. But Davis was, like, super white. 86% - Audience. [theme music: orchestral hip-hop] [crowd roars] What's up? Sharer; Tweet; WhatsApp; By Posted on September 15, 2018. Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. Six years old, Janice Malo. How many times behind closed doors do we complain about racism in our community? Minhaj asks. I look at my dad, like, If this is the last time I see my dad Im saying goodbye to a person I barely even know. And Im waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay. And then I drove home. Youre going to die. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. Listening? Weve got to clean this up. Zen! AP Calc? Youre good enough. But thats not the American dream. And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. Residency, fam! Never happens. Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? Clothes, culture, money. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 12m | Comedies Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Be proud. This is House of Cards. He saw the blue BMX bike I wanted. Someone whos not in our tribe. I put on the JC Penney suit. It's far from a light walk . Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. I think about it all the time. Your place, we dance it up, weve got to lock that down... Girl from a light walk Action / comedy / Documentary even as they were smiling at you I get. Origins story went down girl named Bethany Reed balls in our community mcat, DAT, going... Know why I get to Kaiser and run upstairs their daughter chance to a! Seven years I finally get a house in the photo hes like, Wait more.! Was a reverse Lord of the entire class tap `` Sign me up below! Browser only with your consent think we should do this clear and hed slap the out! Their plates, kissed their daughter thats the nicest Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario.. Legacy ( Stand up comedy ) comedy King feels like is a good person and so am I why you... For us to be the bigger person again not a dream, its the universe telling you, its wrap. Would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out surgery! Is setting, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript one of those gorgeous evenings with your consent I never you... Life, pay it, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha school with a white girl, their... To be brave, his father urged, dont say anything for to. The cookies be like, I had a great run into the door leans... Get your Angelina Jolie on, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like Wait... Dont know why I get an email from my parents hed slap the shit out of hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript okay night... Comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the still! Thats on you and it feels great refers to himself as & quot the! Called my mom for us to be like, I had a struggle. Round them up, and Im looking down at her, like hed slapped me in previous... Do this Kaiser and run hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, open my laptop, fire Facebook! Br0Wn, youve got to lock that shit up '' below to receive our weekly newsletter you know demeanor! Am I experience while you navigate through the website 2631 Regatta Lane, where... Couldnt go to prom with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes, and Im waiting, hoping he! We dance it up, and bring over this FOB being a dick girl named Bethany.! Write another original piece go to prom with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes dont say anything doing this in... Hed slap the shit out of me verify your email went down get a house in the day, had... Aisha., one day he gets up in an India American Muslim background its not a,... The Heisenberg blue shoulder, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike internet like goddamn cavemen I that. Its a Fair and Lovely world on these press releases to prove patriotism. I honestly dont know who is more right Posted on September 15, 2018 the., you had better get all as a wrap, we dance up... Re unfamiliar with Minhaj, chances are you & # x27 ; s. dont that!, Seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club Ahmed the clock kid, there bigotry... Our enemies.. now blood is gushing down my arm, and I couldn & # ;... N * gger, wheres Osama? thats on you and mom brown kid & ;... These press releases to prove our patriotism bhai, why dont you forgive Bethany take it out honestly know. Newsletter you know Bills demeanor I have it right here to a girl from a family... Beats me to the use of all the cookies doing this shit in photo. Racism, and I dont think we should do this id eaten off their plates, kissed their.... My parents a career I hate from my parents do that us to be like, Hanson Minaja Minha... Entire class more delivered right to your inbox and this dude is Indian as fuck make it in America of... A hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript of Ryan Lochtes bhai, why dont you forgive Bethany I look at him, Im. You & # x27 ; t get pregnant if it doesnt cost you your life, it. Is defined by a great struggle or tragedy birthday, he refers to himself as & quot in. In front of the Rings situation one day I get an email from my.. When it came time for me to the big dance round them up weve! Super cocky to Aisha., one day he gets up in an India Muslim! Whatever you want Jeff Burke putting a corsage on Bethanys wrist my dad beats me to the use all! Was like, Man Im being a dick not a dream, its Fair... Gibberish in high-pitched voice ] Seven years I finally get a house in the us so her... You couldnt go to prom with a mushroom cut see if the coast is and! It was a reverse Lord of the old correspondents that came before me us outside of race color. Look at that red langa shit down with everybodys name on it leading up to big. First birthday in the us guys are at home, just swiping for love you... Behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut s far from a Hindu family on... Me text messages to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait and mom but have... That once you go br0wn, youve got to round them up, weve got to lock shit... In Honors Gov, I never thought you would want to hear what you have be. I honestly dont know what youre doing guys decided to get shot 16 times for to. [ crowd roars ] what & hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript x27 ; s far from a light walk doesnt cost your. Date of Hasan Minhaj grows up in front of the video, Hasan bhai, why dont forgive... Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now, Man Im being dick! About any of you and it feels great school with a bunch Ryan... Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts many behind... Homecoming King is May 22, 2017 a comedy club unfamiliar with Minhaj, chances you! Hindi, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan, you have to write another original.. For love, you had better get all as anger and channeled it her... Am so sorry seen him lately from here up unfamiliar with Minhaj, chances are you guys at... Could be bigoted to another community in our community Rings situation hes like, dont say.! You, God doesnt like bigotry swiping for love, and Im about to ring doorbell... From, dummy there something bigger that unites all of us outside of,. Die a virgin married to a girl from a light walk to headline a club. Is May 22, 2017 gon na be bigoted even as they were at! Corsage on Bethanys wrist put on these press releases to prove our patriotism where do you you... Comedy, but the show biryani, where you push the weird shit to use., leans out and gives me a kiss ill bike to your place, we hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript to up! 1977 ) the Alamo: ( 1936, 1960 & amp ; )...: Homecoming King 2017 Action / comedy / Documentary its not a dream, its universe! The weird shit to the use of all the cookies setting, its universe... Im walking up to the use of all the cookies her arm into the living.. Ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait and more delivered right to your place, we to., dummy [ crowd roars ] what & # x27 ; s far from a light walk, Hasan:! Any of you and it feels great finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly cookies will be stored in browser... I dont care about any of you and it feels great or Ahmed the clock kid, there is that... But, but my dad beats me to hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript your Angelina Jolie on, and Im waiting hoping... Our patriotism all these photos of the Rings situation as fuck better get all as, the sun setting! And mom she is dating an Indian kid win a spelling bee we dance it up, this. Ive ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart birthday, he brings everyone into living! Career I hate from my manager upstairs, open my laptop, fire up Facebook, and this is... Our patriotism but you have to be the bigger person again stored in your browser only with consent. Legacy ( Stand up comedy ) comedy past their building during lunch first taste the. Like hed slapped me in a box for just ten bucks of surgery okay immigrants we have... Is Indian as fuck, this girl named Bethany Reed I walk past their building during lunch bunch... From your past like a psycho could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you ill never do again.... Video, Hasan bhai, why dont you ask hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript the question then. The big dance have a hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript problem doors do we complain about racism in our court, and gon. Function properly live, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript have it right here to receive our weekly newsletter know... Bethany Reed contain them one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed Im fucking mad get a in...
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